


Lacuna

by aesthotiana



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Death, Dark Fantasy, Dead L (Death Note), Dead Yagami Light, Fluff and Angst, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Manga & Anime, Multi, My First Fanfic, One Shot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:13:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28609641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aesthotiana/pseuds/aesthotiana
Summary: lacuna/ləˈkjuːnə/(noun)an unfilled space; a gap.LawLight one-shots (yes plural)most of the stories are not related to each other
Relationships: Amane Misa & Yagami Light, L & Yagami Light, L/Yagami Light, Lawlight - Relationship
Comments: 7
Kudos: 20





	1. Judas

Ryuzaki looked away from his computer screen just to find a sleeping figure beside him. He was snoring lightly with his hair all over his face. He looked calm and peaceful.  
His aura was serene, unlike the way it usually is. Light was the kind of person who would hide in plain sight. He could be right beside you, handcuffed, but you won’t know where he is. Or rather, where his mind is. His little brain never rested; which would not be a bad thing in usual circumstances but when he was suspected to be, perhaps, the biggest and most ruthless killer history has seen, things got a bit complicated. Light somehow managed to hoodwink the whole Japanese Task Force and Ryuzaki wouldn’t ever know how. There were only questions and no answers. To be fairly honest, Light himself wouldn’t be able to answer the questions straight up. Light helps you seek all that has been hidden and offers you a fresh perspective. Light drives out darkness. But what are we to do when Light himself is the Dark?

Ryuzaki was looking at him intently. He was studying him like a book. Light was his very own mystery book. He thrilled him more than Agatha Christie could ever do. Ryuzaki had always been attracted to mysteries. And maybe that explained why Ryuzaki was so attracted to Light. He often found himself thinking of him. And not about how he managed to kill a million people around the world and managed to get away with it. He used to think about how Light didn’t like cherries and how he always picked out the fruit in his cake. He used to think about how Light really enjoyed the sound of their handcuffs clinking or how he could never resist himself from biting his nails or how he was always popping his finger joints. He used to think about how Light was obsessed with his hair and was always touching it. He used to think about Light’s brown eyes which completely disappeared when he laughed. He found himself adoring his clear as marble skin with a single freckle on his cheekbone. So good to find a flaw! Finding something that isn’t completely 10/10 would’ve made Ryuzaki fill up with pride. This would’ve been the case here too, except it wasn’t. That little freckle added to his beauty. He was flawed but beautiful. Ryuzaki had this sudden urge to kiss him. Like just a little touch of his lips to his cheeks. It was a sign of affection. He moved closer to him and slowly leaned in. Light stirred in his sleep and Ryuzaki froze in his spot. Light just changed his position and went back to sleep. Ryuzaki could now only see his back. He turned his back on him. 

Ryuzaki didn’t know whether he was supposed to be relieved or a bit forlorn. It almost felt like a sign from the universe that they would not work out. They were not meant to be. Not in this life at least. Light would turn his back on him and there was no doubt in it. They might be chained together but Light would break free. Even if it meant plunging a dagger into Ryuzaki’s heart.

Ryuzaki or L, always wanted his very own 12 Disciples. Those who would be with and support him even when the world looked down on him. What he didn’t realise is that he would have to deal with Judas too. He would trust that certain someone who would lead to his downfall. Just like Jesus did. Ryuzaki was no God. He didn’t want to be God. But Light or Kira did; and that’s just one of the many reasons why they wouldn’t work. L was a human, a mortal. He would definitely die one day; that too, by the hands of Light Yagami. His drug. He would destroy him. L would lose. He would be killed by Kira. But Lawliet?

Lawliet would win. Lawliet would die for love; by his love. He had accepted the fact that in order for his love to stay alive, he would have to die. “If Light being alive means my death, then I would gladly die. Not just in this lifetime. In all the others as well.”


	2. 3 Hours (i/ii)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If there was one thing I knew it was that the last three hours of my life would be my best."

It was tonight. It would all be over today. Today I will cut off the final thread involved in this messy spider web. It had been messed up right from the start. One lie latched on to another, just like a parasite which was slowly gnawing away at my soul till I turned hollow inside. It bowls me over how I fell in love in the place no one could ever. I fell hard for the person whose motive is to catch Kira. It’s hard, very hard to run away from the fact that I am Kira. I sighed and I looked up to see Ryuzaki working away on his laptop. It’s what he always does- over work himself till he’s permanently exhausted. I pulled his laptop away from his and closed it shut.  
“Light, what are you” I kissed him. He was sure surprised but he kissed me back, nevertheless.  
“Kiss me like it’s our last.” I told him and he obeyed. It wasn’t shocking. The only time L did listen to me is when we’re in bed (iykwim). He pushed me down on the bed which caused my death note and the pen to fall down.  
“What was that?” he asked me. This was my opportunity. I changed our positions so that I was now on top of him.  
“I need to tell you something.”  
“That you’re Kira?”  
“Shut up and listen to me.”  
I moved and picked up my death note and my pen from the floor.  
“I don’t know how to word this…” I started  
“You’re going to kill me.” He coldly said.  
“L“ I started again but he cut me off  
“Lawliet. L Lawliet. Go ahead do it.” He said, his eyes brimming with tears.  
“OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME FIRST?!” I was losing my cool and the sadness was slowly overtaking me. Ryuzaki or should I say, Lawliet, didn’t say anything.

(Play little things by one direction)

“In these few months we spent together, I grew this intense liking towards you. We spent 24 hours a day chained together and I couldn’t help but notice all those little things about you. You’re always eating that candy or something sickly sweet and you have these stupid eye bags. You rarely smile but it’s a sight to see when you do. You’re so insecure you don’t even want to know how much you weigh! You are not perfect but you were way more than that. You were everything I’ve ever looked for and so much more. You’ve never treated yourself right. You deserve all the love and the happiness in the world Ryuzaki. I just want you to be happy. I want you to love yourself as much as I love you. I love you L Lawliet. Light Yagami loves you.” I was full on crying by now. L opened his mouth to say something but I stopped him.  
“If you die, Kira wins. But there would be no Light without L. If your name goes into the notebook, mine does too. It’s just the way love is- deadly. It seems like a small thing to do, fall in love. But you have to pay the price. You deserve someone who isn’t a killer. For that reason, I will write my name in the notebook”  
“LIGHT” Ryuzaki screamed and took the notebook away from me. He was now directly on top of me, staring into my damn soul.  
“Oh you care now Ryuzaki?!” I asked him bitterly.  
“Don’t you dare say that I don’t care.” He said in a low menacing tone. His eyes were red from crying and he looked pretty intimidating. His voice was heavier than usual but it had emotion.  
“You’re not the only one stuck in this fucking spider web. If you’re the right, then I'm the left. If you’re the pizza then I’m the cheese. You say you’re in love but you’re stupid enough to not see how much I love you. How much I care about you. How much time I spend thinking about you and your stupid smile. It’s you Light. You’re broken my walls. I’m completely defenceless. So if you’re going to fucking die right now, then I will too. I don’t want to lose the Light of my life. I don’t want to fall back into the dark place I once belonged to. You saved me. You gave me a reason to live. Don’t you dare take it away from me. It’s too high of a price for me to pay.”  
“Let me go.”  
“I’m coming with you.”  
“No you’re not.” He moved.   
He opened the notebook and turned to an empty page. He didn’t have a pen on him. I could steal a few seconds there. Right now, I was completely lost. I didn’t know whether I should be selfish enough to stop him from writing our names or to die for him.   
Death. A small price to pay for love, for an eternity together with the person I love.   
“Don’t use the Death Note. Let me do it.”  
He gave me the notebook and I picked up the pen from the floor. I checked the time on my watch. It was 08:09. I started writing.  
Light Yagami. 11:11 p.m. on February 14 2004. Dies in the arms of L Lawliet.  
L Lawliet. 11:11 p.m. on February 14 2004. Dies in the arms of Light Yagami.  
We don’t have much time, do we?” He asked me.  
“3 hours. Let’s live a little Lawliet.” I jumped down and got my jacket.   
“Let’s go!” I said and we sneaked out of the building. If there was one thing I knew it was that the last three hours of my life would be my best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part two coming soon x


	3. 3 hours (ii/ii)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I love you L Lawliet.” I said resting my forehead on his. His eyes looked more alive than what it ever has.   
> “I love you Light Yagami.”   
> I felt my heart stop working and so did his. But it was alright. He was right here in front of me, he’ll be there with me forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> songs used: teenage dream by katy perry. she's kinda hot by 5 seconds of summer and only the brave by louis tomlinson

We sneaked out of the building and the cold air hit my nose. Should’ve taken a mask! I took Ryuzaki’s hand and he led us to his car.  
“Where to?” I asked   
“The mall.” he replied  
“We’re going shopping?” I asked him, a little disappointed.  
“You’ll see.” he said, and with that he took off. He was driving like a maniac. It felt like I was inside of a race car. He turned on the radio and it was silent for a few seconds before some Katy Perry bubblegum pop song started playing

You think I’m pretty without any makeup on,  
You think I’m funny when I tell the punch line wrong.

Ah, teenage dream of course.   
“We’ll be living our teenage dream tonight Light.” Ryuzaki said before he started shouting the lyrics in his monotone voice.

I know you get me, so I let my walls come down, down.  
Before you met me, I was alright but things were kinda heavy, you brought me to life  
Now every February, you’ll be my Valentine, Valentine.

Being with Ryuzaki was fun. It was nice finally having someone who is as intelligent as you. Before I found the notebook, life was scheduled, boring and robotic. The notebook eased my boredom. And it also led me to Ryuzaki- the love of my life. I sometimes wish that things were different. That we did not meet as a detective-killer. I wanted us to be a normal couple- going on dates and celebrating Valentine’s Day and whatnot. Maybe in another life. But for now I’ve got to suck it up and live my teenage dream.

Let’s go all the way tonight, no regrets, just love  
We can dance, until we die,  
You and I, we’ll be young forever

Today was it. Today we will dance till we die. In a way, we’ll be young forever. Life was too short to not admit that you knew all the lyrics of Katy Perry’s new song by heart. Like, literally. I decided to let loose and sing along

You make me feel like I’m living a teenage dream,   
The way you turn me on, I can’t sleep  
Let’s run away and don’t ever look back, don’t ever look back

We ran away from the headquarters and I was glad we did. We wouldn’t be looking back on what happened. It was just us.

My heart stops when you look at me  
Just one touch, now baby I believe this is real  
Let’s take a chance and don’t ever look back

Ryuzaki looked at me with those big panda eyes. They were filled with life and emotion. He pulled me roughly and kissed me; in a dominating way. We wouldn’t be going back to the life we had. That was because we wouldn’t have any life after tonight but hey, let’s pretend that it’s a new venture in life.

We drove to Cali, and got drunk on the beach  
Got a motel and built a fort out of sheets  
I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece, I’m complete.

We would never be able to go to the beach together and make some hot bartender jealous. Or get drunk off our ass. Or trash a rented motel. I felt a little sad. The desire to live at that moment was more than ever. I wanted to be with Ryuzaki but it was not possible. Not if we were alive. Not if I was Kira and he was L. It was the correct decision.  
Death- a small price to pay to be with the one you love.

“There’s this boy I know, his name is Matt. He drives rash and I’ve always wanted to do it too.” He told me.  
“Guess what? You did it.” I said and smiled at him.

*teenage dream portion ends here*

We reached the mall and got out of the car.  
“So Light,” Ryuzaki started, “We’re going to shoplift.”  
“Shoplift what?” I asked him.  
“Whatever you want to.” He said and winked at me. I took his hand and we went straight to the candy isle. We loaded lots of candy and chocolate into the trolley and pretended like everything was normal. Ryuzaki went up and picked up a few packs of cigarettes.  
“You smoke?” I asked him  
“No, but I will.”  
We then went and took up loads of chips and snacks and food items and drinks. They were all free anyways (that’s because we weren’t paying but okay).  
“So Light, put this stuff in a bag. We quietly did that in a corner, ready to steal.  
“So, I’m going to go get the car ready, you run with this stuff at my signal okay?” He told me. I nodded. I prayed that this goes well. And if it doesn’t, the sheer excitement and adrenaline involved makes it all worth it. Ryuzaki goes in and opens the doors, ignites the car and everything and gets ready. He shouts at me.  
“One… two… THREE”  
And with that I made a run for it. I held the bags as tight as I can and jumped pass the guards- straight into the car. I heard the guards shouting and running after me but he was too late. He started the car and zoomed off in full speed.

“That was bad-ass!” He said before he found the cigarettes and lit one for himself and one for me. I took it from him and put it in my mouth. UGH DISGUSTING REVOLTING UGH I coughed out all the smoke, my eyes starting to immediately water.  
“This shit is disgusting, how can you look so cool inhaling burnt paper?” I asked him.  
“He simply smirked and pulled out a pack of rubber bands and clips from the bag and handed it to me.  
“Tie my hair up” he said  
“Why?” I asked him  
“I will look good.” He said as I start to work my way through his hair. It was unbelievably soft but I wasn’t surprised (ehem, you know why). I tried to take as much of his hair as I could and tied it up into a ponytail. I remember tying up Sayu’s hair like this. It made me a little sad that I never got to say my goodbye to her or mom. I stopped myself from sighing and continued working with Ryuzaki’s hair while he finished his cigarette like some mobster. I clipped the pieces of hair falling in place and just like that it was done. He turned around to look at me and he looked so- hot.  
He looked at himself in the rear view mirror and said  
“Impressive work Light.” He said and went back to another cigarette. Meanwhile I just stared at him dumbfounded by his charm.  
“Do I not look good?” He asked me  
“You look stunning. Not even exaggerating, I can’t take my eyes off you L Lawliet.” I answered him truthfully. He smiled at me before speaking again

“What is something you’ve always wanted to do AND it’s possible tonight?” He asks me  
“Steal the question paper from a University and share it with the students.” I said without even thinking.  
“To-Oh it is then.”  
The ride to To-Oh was not very long but we were blasting pop songs and singing in our horrible voice. We were snacking on food like wolves. I didn’t know that Ryuzaki ate stuff other than sweets. So much to learn, so much to live, so much to lose. It certainly was the night of my life.   
We got to the University and the guard recognised us immediately.  
“What is it that you want?” He asked us   
“I left my I.D. in the classroom.” Ryuzaki told him, slipping a cigarette in his hand. He smirked and allowed us in.  
“Let’s go to the Principal's office and go on a paper hunt.” I told him.  
We go to the office only to find it locked. Ryuzaki tore out a hair clip from his hair and picked out the lock. I was amazed by Ryuzaki’s skills. We go to the room and check out the drawers and find the question paper almost immediately. We broke the wax seal and took out the question paper and made a few photocopies of it. L took a pen and wrote on all the photocopies:  
‘Remember to live your life to the fullest!’ and then he signed his name and asked me to do it too. We put the stuff back in its place before sneaking to the dormitories and slipping it under the doors of a few students. We laughed and jumped out the tall back door.   
“The car’s at the front” I told him.  
“We won’t be turning back. Let’s steal a car.” He suggested  
“I see a motorbike over there.” I told him and we ran to it and found that the bike was ignited. I got onto it and Ryuzaki sat behind me.  
“Hold tight.” I said before we took off. The night was cold and the breeze was low-key biting me.   
“Where do we go next Ryuzaki?” I asked him.  
“I want to crash a frat party.” He told me  
“Seriously L, a frat party?! What have you been reading these days? After and Duplicity?”  
“What’s After and Duplicity?” he asked me, clearly having no idea about what those books were, if you decide to pass them as books anyways.  
“I forgot you’re the kind of person who reads Escapade and Unbelievers.” I told him, just to tease him about something he didn’t know about.  
“You’re stupid.” That’s all he said. Not ‘tell me what they are’ or even a ‘what do you mean?’, stupid ryuzaki. We sped off, ready to crash some teenager’s party.

Little time skip  
We rode until we found a frat house. The front of the house looked like any normal house would but the back was a sight to see. Littered red cups, couples making out, young teenagers smoking joints and what not. At that moment, I was glad that I wasn’t a part of that kind of crowd. Two girls in short dresses came up to us and instantly started chatting with us:  
“I’ve never seen you two here before,” one of them said. “Crashing the party, are you?”  
“We sneaked away from our house and came to the first place we could party.” Ryuzaki answered her question.  
“My name’s Myriad and she’s Hina.” She said pointing to her friend.  
“My name’s Ryuzaki and this is my boyfriend Light.” He introduced us and held me by my waist. This felt good. I looked at him and smiled at him. ‘My boyfriend’, I really liked the sound of that. L Lawliet and Light Yagami, a power couple.  
The two girls rolled their eyes and walked away and the one named Hina muttered something under her breath, which I assume was a homophobic slur.   
“Well, isn’t that welcoming?” L said, disappointed. He looked sad and forlorn. At that moment, I was reminded why I was, and why so many other people were in the closet. It was because of these people and their horrible mentality. People like them sucked but all we could do was not lose hope and dream of facing acceptance.  
“Babe, there’s no need to be so heartbroken over such people. Their only work is to spew shit and our work is to not listen to them. I know there are many people who would be willing to accept us for the way we are. In fact, I’m pretty sure that there will be at least one person who would accept the fact that we are in a relationship with each other and even support us for it.” I tried to ease him with facts I hope were real.  
He stood up on his tippy toes and gave me a brief kiss.   
“Let’s go inside and get drunk off our ass.” He said, breaking away our kiss.  
We went inside and were immediately greeted by the stench of alcohol;and beer. Someone from the couch called out to us  
“Y’all newbies crashing my party?” The boy had coiffed blonde hair and blue eyes. He was taller than both L and I and he had a black lip piercing.  
“I’m Luke and this is my party.” He said, extending his hand for us to shake. We both shook his hands and introduced ourselves.  
“I’m Light and this is my boyfriend Ryuzaki.” I told him. Luke started smiling widely and said  
“Woah, I’m so happy for you two!” That brought a wide smile bothon mine and L’s face. I gave L a side hug, happy that we found someone who supports that. Another guy with spiky pink hair came up to us with two drinks in red cups. He gave one to each of us and introduced himself as Michael.   
“Do you two want to play some games?” Michael asked us and we agreed. I didn’t care how wild they will be, it’ll be my first and last time anyways.  
“ASH! CALUM! GATHER SOME PEOPLE AND GET YOUR LAZY ASSES HERE!” Michael shouted at ‘Ash’ and ‘Calum’. Soon a cute boy with fluffy black hair came up to us with a few other girls and boys trailing behind him. He looked at us and smiled, obviously not recognising us. Moments later, another boy who was wearing a bandana and had brown hair came with a few other players.  
Luke asked all of us to sit in a circle and pulled out a pack of pocky sticks from his pocket and picked up a bottle lying nearby.   
“Get the booze Ash” Michael ordered and the brunette boy with the bandana went to get some beer or something.  
“Everyone knows how to play pocky right?” Luke asked us. I did and apparently, so did everyone else. Luke spun the bottle and one end of the bottle pointed towards L and the other to some random woman. Huh?! The woman might kiss my boyfriend! My boyfriend. If only I knew her name…  
“Your boyfriend looks jealous, Panda.” The cute fluffy haired boy told L and he just chuckled. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me  
“You’re the only one for me Light Yagami and I love you.” and the whole crowd went ‘awww’. I started to blush and pulled him in a tight hug.   
“I love you too L Lawliet.”   
After rounds of drinking and pocky and beer pong and all that frat party thing, we decided to finally leave. We had just about half an hour left, we didn’t want to die at a frat party and cause all the commotion.  
“Luke, we’re leaving!” I informed him, dragging Ryuzaki along with me.  
“Wait Light, we’re just about to perform.” He shouted at me, trying to talk above Ashton’s loud drumming. The beats went bang bang and I’m sure all the girls there wanted to bang bang. That was stupid, I don’t know why I said that but yeah, whatever.  
“We’ll stay for one song,” L said for us. Luke smiled and ran up to his bandmates. Turns out Luke, Ash(ton), Calum and Michael were a little band. They wanted to top the billboard charts one day and I really hope they do. I won’t be alive to see it happen for real but I hope it happens. The song started and it was pop-rock with the electric guitar and the drums of course. It would definitely chart up!   
“When you have got bigger plans that no one else understands  
You’ve got a shot though!”  
L and I had our shot right here. This was our only chance at living a carefree life and I think we made the best out of it. We would die in about half an hour, give or take some time, and we had a few regrets of our own. Things could’ve been so different but looking at the way they were right now, I wasn’t complaining much. I could escape from this life of bloodthirst and sin and murder, and be with the one person I fell in love with. Nope, definitely not complaining!  
I lightly poked L on his arm and asked him when we’d be leaving.   
“Let’s wait for the song to finish. I want to say goodbye to the boys.” He said before turning his face back to the stage. I could tell that he was though he had just met the boys, he found a friend in them. The song ended soon and the whole crowd was cheering.  
“We’re leaving!” L informed the crowd. The whole crowd erupted in ‘aw…’ ‘don’t leave’ ‘stay a little more’ but we really had to leave.   
“It was fun meeting you guys but our time has come. We’ve got to go” I smiled at the crowd and saw them smiling back at me and L. He was smiling too.  
“This one’s for Panda and Mr I-Get-Jealous-Very-Easily, it was great having you here tonight boys. I hope to meet you again,” and with that Calum raised a toast (of beer) to us.  
“To Light and Ryuzaki” he said and drack.  
“To Light and Ryuzaki” the crowd replied and drank too.   
“Bye guys!” I shouted and we exited the house with loads of goodbyes.

L took my hand and intertwined his fingers with me.   
“Let’s visit a church.” He suggested  
“You wanna die in a church Lawliet?” I asked him, lightly chuckling. He only hummed a song in response  
It’s a church of burnt romances  
But I’m too far gone to pray  
We walked to the nearest church, Ryuzaki humming songs all the way. We sat on the first bench and Ryuzaki pulled out his iPod and played this soft song

If the truth tell, darling, you fell  
Like there ain't enough dying stars in your sky  
It's a tall tale, and it's only hello, hello, no goodbye 

The song was beautiful and it kinda made me sad that I am going to die in the next few minutes. The song only screamed the truth. Love is only for the brave and it requires a lot, it requires your all. I looked over to the boy next to me, the one I fell in love with. I pulled him into a kiss. It was not rough, it was soft and loving, and our last.  
“I love you L Lawliet.” I said resting my forehead on his. His eyes looked more alive than what it ever has.   
“I love you Light Yagami.”   
I felt my heart stop working and so did his. But it was alright. He was right here in front of me, he’ll be there with me forever. 

All the lonely shadow dances from the cradle to the grave,  
It’s a solo song and it’s only for the brave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes the date and the songs and the events dont match up but lets pretend it does.
> 
> imp: i do not own unbelievers, escapade, after and duplicity. they belong to their rightful owners!


	4. Prisoner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I couldn’t ever leave. I had undoubtedly and inevitably fallen for him. My Stockholm syndrome was in his room. I was his prisoner and he was my lover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yandere Light x Prisoner L  
> mentions of violence and death

Yandere Light x Prisoner L  
mentions of violence and death  
|-//  
I was nervous. Today I could confront him for once and for all. Finally, Kira’s reign of terror would come to an end. I went to Light’s apartment and picked on his lock. I silently opened the door and went to Light’s bedroom. I got to his door and barged it open. He was writing names in his notebook as usual. He turned his head to look at me and his eyes widened in horror.  
“Sorry love, it’s over. Put the pen down and your hands where I can see them.”  
“Not so fast lover boy.” He stood up and slowly walked up to where I was standing. His hands were behind his back and if the distance wasn’t so short, he would probably look like he’s in Paris fashion week or something.  
“Make yourself at home L.” And that was the last thing I heard before everything went black.  
|-//  
I woke up to a splitting pain in my forehead. I looked around and found myself in an unknown room. Hold on, this place wasn’t unknown, I’ve been here before! It was Light’s bedroom. The room was dark but I knew it too well to not recognize it. I started to speak but my throat was too dry to even make a sound. I looked at the bedside table, hoping to find a bottle of water, which I did. I tried to reach out to it but my legs were tied. Painfully, I reached out to it and took a sip from it. I lied back down waiting for light to come. That’s all I could do. I was his prisoner and I already knew I wouldn’t be out of here for a very long time. I don’t know how long I’ve been here but I knew that people would be out to find me. It won’t be easy though, Light was very smart; as much as me, maybe more. I just stared at the ceiling wishing it was the city lights instead. I heard the front door open and Light came into the room seconds later. He came up to the bed and looked at me for a second before finally speaking up,  
“Ah Ryuzaki my love, you’re finally awake!” He said, coming closer and petting my hair softly.  
“I am not your love…” I muttered softly  
“There’s no reason denying it, is there? It’s just you and me here, until the end of time.” He said, malice glinting in his eyes. He slowly sat on the bed and hugged me.  
“It’s just you and me now,” He moved closer to my ear and whispered “Lawliet.” My entire body froze and a thousand thoughts whirled around in my head, like a tornado. I wasn’t sure whether it was because of the fact that he addressed me by my real name or because he was slowly nibbling away at my ear like a rabbit.  
“Light…”  
“Shh honey.” He said before taking my chin in his hands and placing his warm lips against mine. I didn’t want to kiss him back, still I found myself opening my mouth to let his tongue enter. I didn’t want this; I couldn’t let my kidnapper, my criminal, violate me like this. Then why did I find my hand tugging on his brown locks, pulling him closer to me. Almost instantly, all coherence of thought escaped me and soon I found both Light’s and my clothes at the foot of the bed; he was on top of me. I couldn’t let this happen; I couldn’t let myself develop a Stockholm syndrome.  
|-//  
“LIGHT I CAN’T STAY HERE ANY LONGER. YOU NEED TO LET ME GO.” It’s been three months since I first came here and I didn’t want to be here any longer.  
“Honey, don’t you want to be with your one and only love?” He asked. I grit my teeth, it’s always the ‘love’ that angered me.  
“I DON’T LOVE YOU! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL!” I answered him and immediately saw his brown eyes go red. I got him mad. He went to his desk and sat down.  
“L, answer me truthfully. If I let you go on one condition, you don’t tell anyone anything about me, what will be the first thing you do?” I knew he was mad and Light sometimes gets roughly physical when he’s angry. He once scratched me on the arm like a deranged cat.  
“You’ve already killed Watari and Nate.” I murmured. He got angry and killed them off. I don’t know where he gets his information from but it was accurate EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.  
“Listen to me L Lawliet,” he got up and unlocked my cuffs. “You know where the door is, you’re free to go. But it’s Mihael and Mail next.”  
I fell to my knees. Not them too. I looked up at Light through my teary eyes and asked him “Why…”  
He came up to me and gently lifted my chin in his hands  
“You’ve been alone all your life L. Use this Light to guide you home. My heart is your home. There’s no other place you should go.” With that, he gave me a soft kiss and went back to ‘work’.  
|-//  
“Your eyes Light… they’re so beautiful.”  
I heard a woman’s voice coming from outside the door. Must be Misa. Light has been toying with her and using her right from the start. I felt bad for her but at the same time I kinda hated her. The world knew her as Light’s girlfriend and I didn’t like that. This makes me sound like a damned psycho but I don’t like it when other people are close to Light. After the many nights that we’ve spent together, him calling me “his love” and all of that pillowtalk, seeing him (rather hearing) with another person made me sad, angry… frustrated? He weaved a spider web for me and I walked straight into it. I am caught and I won’t ever be able to run away from his love and his lies.  
|-//

He’s all I thought about. I tried to get him off my mind but he lived there rent free 24/7. I tried to think of all the bad things he’s done but at the end of the day I longed for him to hold me. It was very hard for me to stay there, but I couldn’t bring myself to run away. I used to dream about being free but now it’s like a switch has been turned off. I only wanted to be there with him. It was so hard to forget him, his love was the loudest. The way he held me, ran his hands through my hair, I couldn’t ever leave. I had undoubtedly and inevitably fallen for him. My Stockholm syndrome was in his room. I was his prisoner and he was my lover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> does anyone want me to make a full book on this? :)


	5. no body no crime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Handcuff arc; Light hasn’t regained memories yet; Angst, Comedy (???)  
> Based on the song “no body, no crime” by Taylor Swift ft. Haim  
> TW: Murder

It was past midnight but he was nowhere near done with his work. It must be hard, being the world’s best, second best and third best detective at the same time. You could laugh at that but it was true. He kept typing away furiously on his computer while I just watched. I watched the way the screen reflected in his eyes. I watched how his fingers quickly moved across the keyboard, his eyes never leaving the screen. I was studying his side profile; it was a total 10/10. It looked sharp enough to cut the tension between two people reaching for the last slice of pizza at the same time. His hair was wild but it looked so soft and I really wanted to touch it. I already knew he wouldn’t allow me to touch his hair so I ran my fingers through mine instead. Ryuzaki was beautiful; he was pure. Pure in thought, emotion, action, everything he did was for good. He was pure, heavenly. The Arabic name ‘Aleena’ means silk of heaven and he was exactly that. He was celestial and beautiful and pure, he was an Aleena. I’m not saying he’s perfect, no one is. He might have his flaws but his beauty was so celestial; it bedazzled people to such an extent where they couldn’t quite see all that’s not perfect.   
It was an unnerving thought, trying to get closer to him. He had an aura which attracted people towards him but the sheer thought of enveloping him into your own dirt and sin, ruining his perfection, made chills go through your spine. You couldn’t possibly ruin a perfect marble structure and then get away with it. The guilt would slowly weigh you down till you reach the point where you’re at your lowest. Your brain asked you to run away from him but your heart asked you to run towards him.   
It was almost like I was in love but no… that was not possible! It was a mere infatuation, a crush. It would go away after some time. When all this was over, he would move away from Japan and I’ll only remember him professionally. I sighed and looked away from him.   
“Everything okay Light?” He asked me, finally pausing his work and looked at me with those big panda eyes.   
“Yeah, I’m alright” I lied to him. It’s not like I would tell him what I was thinking. That would be similar to jumping into Mount Fuji.   
“You don’t look alright. You look trifled, almost as if you’re trying to solve a mystery.” He said turning his chair to nicely face me completely. Yes Ryuzaki, I’m trying to solve the infamous mystery of my sexuality but instead I will just reply to you with a Taylor Swift song.   
“Not exactly solving one, but thinking about these murders,” I answered him.   
“Tell me about it.” He said. Damn you Ryuzaki!  
“It’s not a real case though, it’s just a song.” I told him, trying to ward him off.   
“A song? Which one? By whom?”   
“It’s called no body, no crime and it’s a Taylor Swift one.”   
“Tell me about it.” Jeez, what’s with his sudden interest in all of this? Guess I’ll just have to tell him the story.   
“So Taylor has this friend named Este. Este as in E-S-T-E, not like S.T.”   
“Light my name is L. Literally just…L!” I smiled at that and wondered what his real name might be. Louis, Larry, Lucas, Lucifer?  
“Anyways, Taylor and Este meet up every Tuesday night for dinner and a glass of wine. Este had been losing sleep because her husband was acting different and it seems like he’s cheating on her.”  
“Why so?” He asked, resting his thumb on his lower lip. That always seemed to knock the air out of my lungs but I decided to ignore it and get on with the story.   
“It wasn’t her merlot on his mouth and it wasn’t her jewelry on their joint account. So, she decided to call him out.”  
“Yeah all odds are pointing to a disloyal husband.”   
“Este says that she thinks he did it but she just can’t prove it.”  
“Did what?”  
“You know, cheat on her.” I said and Ryuzaki just went ‘ooooooh’ like a kid.   
“Now this is where the fun part begins. Este wasn’t there at Olive Garden on Tuesday night, at her job or anywhere-“  
“She-“he tried to interrupt me  
“Shut up and listen. Este’s husband reports his missing wife and when Taylor passed by his house, she noticed that his truck had got some brand new tires. Moreover, his mistress moved in and she slept in Este’s bed and everything.”  
There was a short pause, “He murdered Este.” He said as realization struck him.  
I smirked. Way to go genius! “Somebody’s got to catch him out. Taylor says that she thinks he did but she just can’t prove it.” He muttered something under his breath and I’m 99% sure it was something about his suspicions of me being Kira.   
“Anyways, Taylor swears up on revenge saying that she isn’t letting up until the day she dies.”  
“What’s she going to do? Take him to court? She needs solid evidence for that.” He says looking disinterested  
“Congratulations genius, she already said that she can’t prove it. Maybe you should shut up and listen to me.” I said as I crossed my arms and a scowl passed on his face.  
“Now listen. Taylor’s father made her get a boating license when she was 15. She also says that she has cleaned enough houses to know how to cover up a scene.” His eyes widened at that and I just smirked. “It’s a good thing that Este’s sister is going to swear she was with her. Oh and, his mistress took out a big life insurance policy.”  
He audibly gasps at that. “She killed the guy and she’s going to frame his mistress for the murder?!” He asked.   
“Yeah. The police think she did it but they just can’t prove it and the mistress thinks that Taylor did it but she just can’t prove it.”  
“The woman really killed the guy because he killed her friend.” He said shaking his head.   
“Yeah, she says that she wasn’t letting up until the day she died. Not much of a shocker really.” I said, getting up.   
“Light,” he said, standing up too. “You know that this just increases my suspicions of you being Kira, right?” He said his eyes in full detective mode. I just smirked at him.   
“No body no crime Ryuzaki.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've made a spotify playlist with all the songs i've used in lacuna so far and some which i plan to use in future chapters (keep an eye out for that ig). it's called lacuna(lawlight) and is by me (blurryface). check it out if you're interested! here's the spotify link:  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2r9rzfqx6opGWYfYNUv8B6?si=UO-LY7otSiyn6E0w7xvH5Q

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first work on ao3 and idk what im supposed to say but hi ig and thanks for reading and ily


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